Bags of Bran

Ignorance = Radio Blessings
December 26, 2009, 3:58 pm
Filed under: Bible | Tags:

Today Lady and I drove from somewhere in Wisconsin to somewhere in Michigan, passing through portions of somewhere in Illinois and somewhere in Indiana. It rained for the bulk of the trip, as we were on the warm edge of a vast blizzard which blanketed Minneapolis with 10” of wet, heavy snow which may as well have been mashed potatoes. We were making the last leg of the family tour, a 411 mile push toward eastern Michigan to visit my sister and her family for some blessed fellowship and cookies.

During our journey I was reacquainted with the oppressive sounds of WRVM, a radio station run by the marketing wing of Fundagelicalism for the promotion of agnosticism. I vouchsafe that they’re trying to drum up some persecution with the music they play, or perhaps they are declaring to the powers of darkness “we mean you no harm.” In this unbiased listener’s peer-reviewed opinion, the groans and sighs which emanate from Suring rival the sounds of livestock dentistry for sheer spiritual value and edification.

One song that I was repeatedly blessed with by the well-meaning and doubtlessly red-velvet-hat-sporting button pusher at WRVM contained an age-old question (couched in the vocabulary of a novel-reader). The question, of course, was set to music that would have made Barry Manilow doubt the manliness of the composer, but that is another discussion for another time. Some feller was apparently cogitating about the Incarnation at Xmastime (a proper thing to do) and became desperately flummoxed. We do not know the occasion for his cogitation: perhaps he was approaching a hard deadline for publishing a Christmas song and had frittered his time away shopping for sweater socks at JC Penney’s. Since we only have the outcome of his cogitations (in song format, no less) to evaluate the process, much of this is raw speculation. One thing we can be sure of is that he ran into an age-old conundrum: why the incarnation?

At this point, he had several options: a) leave the faith, or at least change friends and profession, having never truly been part of the faith; b) ask someone who had thought cogently about the Incarnation to talk him through it, if he could find a person like that; c) crack a book and read about the Incarnation; d) write a song and sell his steaming piles of ignorance to the forked-tongued informers of Fundagelical Christendom. Perhaps he had other options, but we may assume that he was crunched for time and needed to make a quick call in order to appease his publisher. Said feller chose D, and now we all get to hear “that’s an awful funny way to save the world” being crooned by a Christian Celebrity through the ministry of WRVM.

I wonder, if the Christian Celebrity had been put in charge of saving the world, what he would have come up with. Since he never saw anything like the Incarnation as a movie plot, it just didn’t make as much logical sense as sending Rambo, or fighter pilots, or perhaps building an invincible robot to go and boot Rome out of power and set up a neat kingdom with free miracles and all the bread and fish one can eat. Or perhaps sending the UN to broker a peace deal between Israel and Rome, making sure that everyone was equally treated and had adequate food, shelter, and medical care. Categories have changed over the years, after all, and everyone knows that the best ideas are those that come from Secular Celebrities who stay on top of such things so we don’t have to.

If the Christian Celebrity had paid attention to history, he could have learned that other pagan cultures have had similar difficulties with the Incarnation. It may seem a bit silly to the reader that the Christian Celebrity chose this route since excellent discussions of the Incarnation are easy to get and require only a functional imagination to understand. I personally felt this way, saying to myself, “Self, that guy oughta know better.” Of course, I was assuming that he (the Christian Celebrity) and his audience (mostly honest sheep who haven’t been shepherded in decades) would actually WANT to understand the Incarnation. Or, that the miscreants at WRVM would want their audience to understand the Incarnation. Therein, I think, lay my mistake.

R. Martin's Favorite Ballpark


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