Bags of Bran

November 10, 2011, 11:55 pm
Filed under: Biography

Have you noticed how people use the word “gospel” these days? It’s more like a slogan than an actual word with meaning. If you want to be one of them there cool kid preachers, you have to use the word “gospel” (a noun) as several different parts of speech. Used in that way, “Gospel” doesn’t really mean anything anymore, because it really amounts to a slogan or buzzword. People say “Gospel this” and “Gospel that” and “Gospel-centered” and “Gospel-smothered” and “Gospel manhood” and “Gospel landscaping” and “Son, you go Gospel your room right now, or so help me.” This is a real shame, devaluing such a noble word, but who has time to be ashamed these days when all the cool guys use “Gospel” as though it refers to a fourth member of the Trinity?

What’s next? I can see the brochure. Young, hip families, slightly blurry, smiling ravenously at one another. What do they have to do with the content of the brochure? Nothing, but what competent church or para-church produces a brochure without pictures of young, hip families, slightly blurry, smiling ravenously at one another? Without them, it would be unclear what they were trying to do. Here’s what the brochure would say:

“Gospel” is no longer MERELY a transitive verb!

“Gospel” is no longer MERELY a predicate adjective!

“Gospel” is a persona to be gathered around, pleased, served, walked and talked with in the garden!

Remember, The Gospel Loves You. Passionately.*

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I think I’ll call it “Gospolatry” and begin a semi-official persecution. I want a Gospel that means “Jesus died for my sins,” not “Evangelical Values.”


*Credit where credit is not wanted: the final adverb was not forged and deployed by yours truly.


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